Every trip we take is unique; we have certain memories, plans, and expectations. One thing remains unusual: the blind trust we place in strangers. These strangers are the bus drivers, train loco pilots, or cab drivers. Not to mention the uncertainty of other drivers who may be driving or riding in our vehicle. We all place immense trust in all of them.

Why do we simply trust them? Is it blind trust, belief in some divine power above us, or just plain trust that our journeys will be safe? I was traveling somewhere nearby the other day, and that is how I thought about it. I also have a subquestion. If we are so calm and accept everything in the moment, why do we focus so much on controlling things in real life?

We are absolute control freaks!

We plan our day in advance and keep saving money for our future. We keep worrying about everything around us, even when it is not under our control. We ask so many questions before hiring a house help, negotiating terms, or setting boundaries, and we need to know every small thing happening around.

But the irony of life, the moment we use a mode of transport, we let go of it. Some of us won’t budge and stay awake until the journey is complete.

Where Does the Trust Come From?

This isn’t really trust; it’s a safety illusion we carry. So where does trust actually come from? Because it’s not really magic; we simply surrender ourselves to life’s uncertainty. In that moment, we trust and indirectly adapt to the feeling of being safe. In cities, it’s the other way round; women are still petrified of roaming alone in cabs or traveling at night. I know this differs in every city, but the larger picture is that women are still unsafe. Some of us send coordinates or live location to our family or loved ones. Many of us just accept it somehow, and that’s easier.

The Acceptance

In our office or at work, if something doesn’t go as planned, we fix it instantly. We try to control or rectify it.

At home, with family or in relationships, we fight for control. We set certain expectations and steer things according to our perspective. But when we travel with strangers, we often practice acceptance in ways we refuse to anywhere else in our lives. We expect the driver’s decision and the fact that we can’t do anything about it. We realize we can’t do anything about it, and so we relax, and most of the time, we’re fine.

Why We’re Calm on a Flight But Anxious About Everything Else?

I was once on a flight to Pune, and the turbulence was a little rough. That small jerk left me feeling helpless, my palms sweaty; it was scary. We had all accepted that we could not control the weather, the pilot’s decisions, or the turbulence.

So all we did was wait and relax. But the same people who were on the flight would keep refreshing their inbox every few seconds if they were waiting for an important email or a job interview result. Here, they were all trying to control something beyond their control. The difference is real.

The Question

If we can be calm and accepting during travel, why can’t we bring that same energy into our everyday lives? Why do we struggle so much with things we can’t control?

Why do we need to double-check and micromanage? I sometimes think it’s because we have no choice but to trust the stranger. So we do. And it works. But in life, we think we have choices. We think we have control, so we keep trying, and we keep failing, stressed with it all.

What I Know Now?

The bus driver won’t be hasty; the loco pilot will get us to our destination on time, and even the flight will land. Not because I did anything or controlled it.

It happens because millions of people do it every day and most of them survive. That is exactly how the systems work. Even the same logic applies to our lives. We believe in it.  We live like trust is dangerous and letting go is some kind of weakness. But the evidence is right here: for the time we travel, we are safe and calm. Maybe that’s the real lesson about everything.

If we can trust a stranger to drive us at 100 km/h, why can’t we trust in our everyday life?

This blog is sprinting its way to the finish line with Piyush’s Plotters as part of The Blogchatter Half Marathon!

This post is a part of the Blogchatter Half Marathon 2.0

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