Is there any place you love going back to?

Is there any place you love going back to? I’m sure there are many such places, but one place holds more special memories than the others.

The worst memories are the ones you struggle to cherish as you age. No, I haven’t reached that level, but sometimes I really wonder: how do we keep all the beautiful things in our heads?. Will that hold the burden? Some memories start to fade when you don’t have photos to look at or the same place to experience it all again. Money can never help with everything, and that is where we start to feel helpless. I have so many places that I would love to go back to, but I will mention just one through this prompt today.

A place where I spent my childhood — I spent most of my time with my grandmother/aai/naani. She held me when our world was scattered. She is now in Pune, and I’m away from her here in Sindhudurg. I can only visit here once or twice a year, but that doesn’t seem enough.

Why that place?

Every childhood is different, and mine wasn’t the best, but I had her back when I felt alone. She took care of us (sisters) when my parents went to work. The place has been renovated, but a small part of the area still remains the same. The exact place where we binged-watched shows like “Aamhi Saare Khavayye” (आम्ही सारे खवय्ये) on the dish TV. Days when I knew nothing about cooking because she cooked everything for me. I want her to cook at least something today, but her age doesn’t allow that. I really want to go back to those days, to that exact place, when it was just Aai, me, and Rocky (her pet dog). I truly loved spending time with her. The small house and the verandah, it all felt like enough. I still wish I could be with her every weekend in Pune. Every afternoon, I kept my hand on her waist, hugged her, and slept; even when she felt ticklish, I wouldn’t budge.

Did I cherish these memories?

Yes, we did. My two uncles and my aunt took pictures back then, and we had photo albums that went missing while they were building the new house. Money cannot buy these memories or those photos for me, and I cannot time travel to feel the same way again.

How does it feel today?

I feel grateful to spend time with her. Even today, if I just lie down on the bed on a weekend afternoon, I feel like I’m teleporting to the same house, the same bed, and I visualize her with me. I was carefree back then; I had her, and nothing else mattered to me. Today, it all feels overwhelming sometimes. I’m still happy and grateful, but somehow I feel her absence here at my place. I know it will never be the same again, but I always make sure to tell my little girl our stories.